DIVORCE COUNSELLING : WILL MY CHILD EVER COPE!

Divorce teachers children resilience. Children also have the capacity to completely heal from divorce. It's through your love, support and ability to move on yourself that will rebuild your child's life. Children are courageous they have a storehouse of forgiveness. Even with great loss they cope. Trust in them, and they will trust in you.

PHOTO : My daughter's place of peace.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : BELIEVE AGAIN

Dear friends
thank you for all your support your subscriptions to my site are overwhelming. I think in the end all we need to know is that someone hears our story. That we are valued, that we matter and that we are connected. Divorce is an ongoing story and you will continue to evolve into the depths of yourself. I'm currently at a new pause in my life. As now there is more distance from my past that I feel seated in my future. How can one be seated in ones future? Because there is enough healing to believe again.

Dare to dream again, what does your new life look like? Today after five years of divorce a close friend took the step of going out on her first date, have the courage to take the first step.
Blessings Lea.

DIVORCED COUNSELLING : THE WONDER BRA!!

It’s the little things that brighten up one’s day. Equipped with one of those double padded, push up, squish it in, double cleavage wonder bras. I wore my new neck plunging winter dress, for the third day straight. Honestly forgetting what day it was and what I was wearing, my ex turned up to pick up the girls. At first I was wondering what his strange look was all about, when I realised, I puffed out my chest and continued to talk about the girls. His eyes started to protrude out of his head.
After wards in fits of laughter back in the privacy of my home I realised he had no idea if I had had a boob job! It truly is the little things that brighten up our day!! Thanks D for the bra.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : THE BLENDED FAMILY

When my daughter got home from school today, in pure happiness she states soon I will have two new sisters and a brother, with my own sister if you have another baby and it’s a boy, that’s three sisters and two brothers. “Mum soon the whole world will be related”. Next …….“can you cook me pancakes like daddy’s girlfriend, she makes the best ones”! I smile sure.
Once she’s tucked in for the night and fast asleep, I let the rage out. ####!!!!!! First of all my ex only had to deal with a single new step parent, for me my daughters are about to get a step mum, two step sisters and one step brother along with a much older half sister, when I ex marries later this year. To set the record straight I’m the cook and now she copies me. I bake, she bakes, I sew, she sews, I make crafty things, she makes crafty things. It drives me nuts, tonight I don’t feel loving, I feel shitty. How any of us get through this stuff is a pure miracle……You want pancakes, you’ll have pancakes!

DIVORCED NOTHING MORE TO LOSE

Have you ever noticed how different divorced women are to married women. All my divorced women friends are amazingly strong and independent. Living their dreams and achieving their goals. As a remarried women, I’ve noticed that I have retained this independent and as a result my marriage is alive and vibrant. Both my husband and I don’t need each other we can happily survive alone, therefore our chosen time together comes only from a place of deep appreciation for one and other. Our love is free and real and most importantly our individual dreams are alive with the support from each other.
Where as in my first marriage, I became a slave to support my husbands happiness, not my own. I did all the ironing, cooking, cleaning, washing, gardening, on top of working, raising two daughters and providing, physical and emotional support. No wonder it has taken five years to get my strength back. Yet this is the life that most married women and I must say some men lead. One partner rides on the back of the other and has the ride of their life, while the other struggles with the weight and then has to be a sexual goddess/god at the end of the day. And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high. Well no more for me and my divorced friends. Equality is our best friend. We would never settle for less, as once you have lost everything you realise there is nothing more to lose, only much to gain.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : THE ART OF SELF WORSHIP

Equipped with sledge hammer my friend attacked her newly acquired home. Mother of two, divorced four years freedom is owning her own house. Her own peaceful haven in the bush and now total freedom to create her paradise. As she destroys her kitchen tiles and then moves on to destroy her bathroom she shares with me the release of years of anger and sadness.
Therapy in the form of rebuilding your inner and outer temple is truly freeing. Your home rented or owned is a place to house you, divine you. Build your temple, build your church and worship the most important saint YOU!!!

MARRIAGE : THE BLENDED FAMILY

Have the courage to begin again! Love again! Trust again! Have the faith that you can create family. Yes your children may come and go, but you can create a warm and loving home. A place of beauty, peace and love. Have the courage to remarry and create a blended family!!

 

A beautiful blended family.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : RESILIENCE!!

Some divorces are simple and some are not. If you fall into the latter category like me, we have to find a store house of resilience. As I face the daily impact of family court, I drag myself out of bed, look out of my window at the magnificent mountain ranges and say “ give me strength” I’m lucky to have such a vision, but this is it! the key to resilience, building ones internal strength from the external world. For some it’s god, in all it’s forms, for others it’s the love from another and for me it’s my mountains. Find your source connect to it’s strength!! Stay mindful not to fall into the trap of toxicity. It’s tough I know but you can do it, I believe in you!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : YOUR SECRET WEAPON

Divorce …..Divorce…..Divorce. Today a divorced friend rang and said “I’m so bloody sick of this thing.” In reference to change over's. She has been divorced 5 yrs and together we both realised we had eight more years of change over's, well I’ve got ten. We swore, together and breathed a sigh of relief at least we had each other to off load on. The phone call ended in hysterical laughter as we realised our ex’s had to cope with seeing us as well, and we had the secret weapon, to always look fantastic at hand over's! Even a 8am in the morning, because we could always flop back into bed after the kids left. There is nothing more empowering than looking fab in face of your ex! Go on, get to it, employ the secret weapon, the fab you!!!!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : MARRIAGE AND REMARRIAGE ARE YOU REALLY READY?

Do you know your self? Do you believe in your self? Can you speak your truth? Can you speak this truth, with love and compassion? Do you see yourself equal to your partner? Do you love yourself? Can you see and I mean truly see the person you love as they are with no projections from you, just as they are! Can you see yourself as you are? Can you own your faults and celebrate your gifts.? Are you embracing your life for you?Are you at peace with being alone? If not pause, work on yourself, take the time to grow into the whole you. Then you will find divine love, real and lasting. You will find a whole other, that is ready to meet you!

PHOTO : Women finding themselves

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : ROBBED MEMORIES

Last night I lay down next to my youngest daughter while she was sleeping. Hugging in close I let my self remember her birth and her first few years of life, she was two when I left her father. I felt the pain for her loss of family, her confusion about where her father was, and I felt my own pain for all of this loss. Then I remembered the profound love I felt at her birth and our walks together. I reconnected to this deep place of love, and felt the tears of joy in remembering.

In the morning I told her about our time together when she was a baby. She laughed and smiled as I had barely talked of the past as the pain had blocked the depth of love. It’s truly healing to be able to look back and not see the divorce but my truth, which is my love and care for my children. This has never changed!

Divorce can rob us of our good memories. My new challenge is to get out the baby photos and hang them on the walls, to honour my role as mother, and the love that was and is still present today.

Technatori Claim

Hi Readers, This post is for claiming my account with Technatori:  KP6X3DUKHQZR
Thanks, Lea

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : ELIZABETH GILBERT'S COMMITTED

After a very slow and I mean slow start, chapter four 'Marriage and Infatuation' kicked me in. Friends read it, there is much wisdom here. Well done Elizabeth, although "committed" as a title..mmmmm... I will let you know when I finish the book.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : FAMILY COURT FAITH

Dear subscribers, sorry I’ve been out of touch! You will find me in the depths of family court.  It seems I’ve gained a new skill, to become an overnight lawyer in representing myself.  I wish I could speak and tell you my pain, anger and heartache, but legal proceedings have away of bringing silence.


What I can say to all of you that may end up on this path is, stand strong, speak only the truth as you know it, remain focused, don’t take the hooks, the lies or react to the shock….focus….breath…focus ….and trust that you will be supported. It may not be in the way you imagined, but you will be supported. Life has so many turns, don’t try to predict the outcome…..just breath and be truthful to your self, hold your dignity and self respect. You don’t need luck you need faith, and so do I. Today I offer you my hand in faith. In faith I know you will love again, you will feel again and you with breath happiness like never before.

Take care Lea.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : THE ART OF BEING ALONE!

On a whole most of us never learn the art of being alone. We go from living with parents, to living with friends or partner to marriage. Most of us expect to find ourselves alone in the later years of our life or never, depending on who dies first. Yet now, at least one third of the population will find themselves alone somewhere between, 30 and 50 years of age. Too old to move back home and too old to move into shared accommodation. Although there are exceptions. The shock of loneliness can be so overwhelming that you will find away to fill the gap, any way you can. This mostly leads to destructive behaviour.

So have the courage to practice the art of being alone! Post your comments on your experiences, thoughts and ideas. How are you learning the art of being alone?

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : WHEN AM I READY TO DATE AGAIN?

In truth damaged people don’t make for strong whole relationships. Grieve, heal, and take time out to have a hard honest look at yourself, the life you’ve left and the life you now want for yourself. Practice the art of being alone, you may just find a new love, you! Go to the movies alone, sit in the middle, be exposed to the feeling of alone. Take your self out for dinner alone, enjoy that glass of wine alone. Take your self dancing and to a groovy bar, order the most amazing cocktail and drink it alone. Once you can feel whole with being alone and I mean really feeling complete you are ready to date. As you won’t NEED that person you will choose wisely and carefully. And in the meantime you will find healing and happiness with the most important person YOU!!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : YOUR FIRST NIGHT ALONE

This week two beautiful women told me their marriages are over. Both have children, both have different stories. What is tangible is the fear. What to tell the children, where to live and how to live. There are so many layers to recovering from divorce, for some, they feel alive with their new found freedom, while others can barely cope with the loneliness and grief. Personally I experienced both, many times over. I remember the first weekend I had to my self, new clothes, perfume, makeup, hair cut and the list goes on. I looked amazing! I felt amazing! I was free! My life was mine! I was back in the drivers seat, I felt powerful and self complete.

Yet within weeks loneliness and loss would hit with full force. It would knock me flat and I would struggle through the days. Over time I learnt to set aside time in the day for grief. 1 hour no more, but in this hour I would surrender completely to it’s force. Grief needs to be respected, it’s powerful. Avoiding it, just strengthens it. To be with it, helps it to heal. In that hour I would cry for everything lost. Lost dreams, lost love, and lost me. When the hour was up I would drag myself off the bed, and do something to shake it off….this is damn hard…but you can do it. Don’t let the grief destroy your life!!

When you're having your worst days pick up the phone ask for help you are not alone. We are here, women and men that are, and have walked the same path, let us be there for you. In my life divorced women just started to appear. In my darkest hour a new divorced friend asked me over. She cooked a gourmet dinner, ran me a deep bubble bath, that smelled like heaven. Warmed the towels and one of those 5 star dressing gowns a soft bed with crisp new sheets with gentle music playing. I will never forget that night, the night that a friend was there for me.

For myself I took to buying flowers for me every week. I was dedicated to loving me and healing me. Healing takes time be kind to you! After all you have been through enough.

Drawing by Lea Rose : Alone

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : FAMILY COURT

Here I am in the family court, it’s time to stand strong and create a stable  life for my daughters. Here in the lawyers office I stay calm, hours of questions, hours of talking, still I stay calm.
I’m not interested in a war, just stability for all. What will be will be, and I will nurture my girls through change and they will know they are loved and protected. I look around at all the other families here, mostly sad and angry. The staff distant themselves, they are tired out by the heaviness of it all.
I smile as I go in and out through the security check. I smile at the clerk, I smile and thank the young lawyers, and shake hands and thank the legal aid lady. Each and eveyone of the staff pause, look at me and smile. Light relief for all of us. Later I share my chocolate bar with a family that has been there all day. None of us know what to expect, yet life, has brought us here, what’s the point of adding anger. So I sit knowing, what will be will be. This becomes my focus, this is what calms me. There is a point were you have to let go! And surrender to the journey of life….the path that is before you….no matter what it looks like…step forward. What will be will be….

ONLINE SEX ADDICTION

Online sex addiction, this is the new drug addiction! It destroys people, it destroys families and it destroys marriages. In my next posts we will look at this world wide epidemic, ‘online sex addiction’.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : FIVE YEARS ON

One might think after five years of being divorced things should cool down.mmmmm. It seems not.  As the girls approach their teens, it seems my divorce is just heating up.
Why is it that one parent has to play the teenage fool, no boundaries, no rules. Teens running wild, while the adult kicks back. Time and time again this is the story my clients share with me, well now it’s my turn! Two sleepless nights and now I’m ready, to go into battle, this time armed with a lawyer!
I have a life too and so do you. My children and yours, have a right to a beautiful, safe, loving and full childhood. And then to be guided and supported through the teens to adulthood. My children are my world they matter! Put your kids first, give them the best life you can. Stand strong in this knowing! And know I’m walking this journey with you.

TITLE : The fool by Lea Rose

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : MARRIED TO DIVORCE!

Home after celebrating my eldest daughters tenth birthday party. 30 kids, my husband, my mother and my ex! Every trigger that could have been thrown my way, was. A day of dodging the bullets. Five years after divorce and nothing really changes. I always feel I’m married to my ex again and suffering the same pain. At least it is confirmed, I made the right decision to leave.  I can pat myself on the back knowing I took none of his bated hooks today, but the price is high, as I’m shaken to the core and sad that this is my life sentenced, to be married to divorce. Today my blog therapy is for me.

THE DIVORCED REMARRIED COUGAR!

My brother in law, with a cunning smile said, “did you know your a cougar?’”, I stopped, paused and smiled. I now had a famous title ‘cougar!’, while he had none. He was nine years senior to my sister, I am eight years senior to my husband. My sister and my husband prepared lunch while we looked on.

In the past my ex husband was 10 years my senior so now my husband is eighteen years younger to him. My brother in law and I looked on. I was a cougar he was …… It’s weird how the fashion can change. In truth I was very uncomfortable about being the older woman, that was until ‘cougar’ came into power.

Now my ex now has to face, the young blood every time he does drop off! Guiltless revenge so sweet, just the natural order of Karma!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING DOES IT WORK?

YES! Only if it’s the right counsellor. The first counsellor I was referred to was 23years old, unmarried, with no children. She processed to tell me my daughters were entitled to two lives. I processed to tell her no! My girls would have one live with two houses! And with that I stormed out.
The best counsellor of all, was herself divorced with three kids. She sat down, and quietly spoke, “how are you coping”, “how are your children coping”. With that I  broke down for the next  hour.  Empathy is the greatest healer, next to time and space.
Carefully choose your counsellor, if their not right, don’t give up on counselling, simply change counsellors. The therapist’s that have supported me, truly helped me to live again. Go on!
Find your support team today!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING WITH CHILDREN: FIVE BIRTHDAY CAKES

How many birthday cakes can a 10 year eat! This year we have got it down, to the small number of five. One with me, one with dad, one for school, one with the grandparents and one for the party! Along with two dinners and one breakfast. The presents are yet come next. How is a child ment to learn the art of not being spoiled?
Each year brings it’s challenges, this year it’s her fathers day on! So we put on our finery and went for breakfast! Dropped the girls to school at 10.00am, smiled to the teachers and said, would you like some cake the morning tea! We have plenty!
Instead of the sadness of “it’s not my weekend”, “bastard! Blah…Blah….Blah….” Do something to empower you, take control of the time you do have and celebrate, celebrate, celebrate! Be creative! Find a way!

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : ELIZABETH GILBERT AND SIDDHA YOGA

My yoga family was my rock after divorce.
I spent hours meditating and in yoga classes. Eating at the Hari Krishna's, for the vibes, and chanting loudly to Indian music in the loneliness of my home. Everything became about getting the good vibes, after all I had been on the rebound, over dated and drunk myself sick, so now it was up to yoga to heal me.
I flew to India, my place, the place that had always made sense to me. Buddha's Bodhi Tree, South India, for a time of god oneness! The dala Lama was arriving any day, so with the other 200 thousand people I waited…..
In my happy spirited self I lined up with a few hundred people that needed a bank teller. I was studying mindfulness, so what was a few hundred people after all.  A tap on my shoulder, a friend from Sydney. A few laughs, and then the big crash! “How do you feel about the corruption in Siddha Yoga” hours later I was filled in. I had been studying Siddha yoga for fifteen years. I had lived with my Guru in India and was very much part of the family I was crushed.
Upon returning to Australia I did the painful homework of leaving no stone unturned, and as a result I left Sidda Yoga.
Not until then did I feel the full impact of my divorce, my married family was gone, and now my spiritual family, gone.

I picked up Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, I had no idea what it was about, by the end of it I was in a rage! Part of her divorce healing was finding Siddha Yoga, for me in the middle of divorce I had lost Siddha Yoga! I tried to find I way to contact her, to famous. So I emailed Richard, he emailed me straight back! He had so much  compassion, he had also left Siddha Yoga and found a new path.

From here I started my inner yoga. The goal, yoga without the classes or teachers. Just me and myself, my loneliness and my pain. I had studied yoga for years surely I could find my way back! Back to me!

TITLE : India finding self

 

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH, STAND IN YOUR SELF WORTH.

Divorce is still viewed by the general public as failure! Failure to make it work, failure to choose the right partner in the first place! And in the eyes of many religious belief systems, a total fall from grace.
Well let me tell you, I’m divorced, I have divorced friends and I meet divorced new couples weekly. For those divorced with children it’s a harder journey than being married. I have never met anyone yet, that has not suffered greatly from divorce and the ongoing affects. Divorce is on most accounts the last straw! When there is clearly no choice, for at least one of the couple, if not both.
Divorce was not a choice I had. In fact divorce became my only way of survival.
It takes great courage to walk the divorce path, and stand strong in front of judgement. None of my friends knew the silent hell I was living in. To the outside world my husband and I looked like the perfect couple with the perfect children, home and life. My silence became my downfall as when I left the judgement came flying from all directions. I remember one of my closes friends telling me I would never find a man as good as my husband again!…..still I remained silent.
In truth I knew the life I was living, I knew I was worth more, I knew my children were worth more. I knew life knew we were worth more. So when and if you decide to leave. Leave with your head held high, understand your own worth, and focus on self love and a stable home life even if that means your now living in a rented dumb with children alone. Rebuild you first! Rebuild the love and warmth in your home! Hug your children, love your children, let them be the centre of your world and before you know it life will begin again this time with you as the centre!
With you as the centre anything is now possible!!

TITLE : Self worth by Lea Rose

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : WHEN IS IT TIME TO LEAVE ? DR PHIL GAVE ME THE ANSWER!

Dr Phil gave me this answer! Whether you love or hate him, the fact remains, his simple wisdom continues to amaze me.
In truth I needed an answer to this question, I had already been going to relationship counselling, in fact we were up to our fifth counsellor and three years had passed. Still married life had slipped into a silent abyss. With all my being I prayed for an answer, day after day. Despondent I switched on the TV. I had no interest in what was on, I was simply numbing the brain.
Dr Phil, looked intently at the camera, as if he was speaking to me and said,”unless you can look deeply into the eyes of your children and know you have done everything you can to save your marriage then you have no right to leave!!” he went on to add unless it is abuse, of any kind.
Next a women on the stage said in leaving her husband she felt she had waisted 35years of her life. Dr Phil compassonality said', “the only thing worst than wasting 35years was wasting 35years and one day.” He went on to add she was still young enough to start again, marry and even have more children, to built a new and amazing life for herself and her children.
This was it for me , at the time I was also 35years old. My life was to change from that day forward………stay posted

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : FINDING SELF

I always had the deepest love for my husband, it’s this very love that became my entrapment. Blinded by my devotion and love unable to see the truth. Finally I had woken up.
I search for reasons, what happened. Why did I leave, why did he not come for me. So much pain, so many questions. So many sleepless nights. And in these sleepless nights I search for meaning, I search for me. Looking back,  I was amazing, I was beautiful, the girl that was full of life, the girl that loved so freely. Where did she go, not even I can find her, see her, or touch her.
So how does one find ones self, when most of my life was shared with the one I loved. When we were one, and in this oneness my self over time disappeared.
It’s now five years since I penned this in my journal I would like to share my search of self discovery with you, so you might be inspired with the hope of finding self.

ONLINE DATING GET REAL!

If you have been dating on line for some time, even years. Stop take a honest look at your profile. What are you doing wrong, if your not sure write to me and I will have a good look and give you a honest answer. If your like my online dating friend, “Felixfireball ” Let go! get over “Sexyred” and ‘Boobs” move on and get real! It's all in the name!

DIVORCE THE GIRLFRIENDS PERFUME

The smell of the girlfriends perfume, leaching through my daughters hair. The smell of her, on their skin. I hold my breath and welcome them home from the weekend with their dad. It’s animal instinct to smell your children, but what do you do when they don’t smell like yours.

It’s the little things that have the greatest impact. This was a trigger that would inwardly enrage me.  The cure, water, lot’s of water! Let’s have a bath! Let’s go to the beach! Let’s go swimming! and let’s wash all those dirty clothes. With a new earlier drop off time, water became my salvation.

REMARRIAGE SELF COUNSELLING

There is nothing more amazing than walking down the isle after surviving divorce and truly knowing you are living your furture. Yes it's a long hard walk, but it's so worth it. If your currently divorced have the courage to begin again. Don't let one person destroy your life and happiness. Take action now! Reclaim your life now!

TITLE : My Remarriage

ONLINE DATING SITES

If your dating online or have dated online, let us know which sites you found were the best, and which were not. I would love to here from you. Make sure you tell us what country your site is in.

REMARRIAGE LIFE AFTER DIVORCE ONLINE DATING 10 STEPS TO SUCCESS

If you want a one night stand, go down to your local bar, be up front and ask if anyone would be willing to service your needs. I’m sure, you will always find a willing mate for the night. Don’t waste your time or others time on online dating sights. That is unless it’s a free for all sex site, and yes they do exist.

My advice is for those of you that really want to understand the art of dating online, so you have the chance of finding real love and friendship.

1. Choose an ethical Online dating site. Suited to your personality and age. Here in Australia RSVP is the one I used, plus Greenfriends.com. Most of my clients use RSVP or Lava life.

2. Make sure you have a mobile phone as this is the only number you should give out!! There is the wonderfully strange out here, safety always first.

3. Make up your on line name, be witty not smutty, ‘Big Slong and ‘Pussy Lips’ belong to the one night stand category. Never give out your real surname unless you know, you have found the one you want to take it further with.

4. Your photo needs to be real, remember your looking for your future partner, being half naked, with boobs or chest hanging out, sells sex, not long and lasting relationships. You best and worst photo can be great as no one looks their best all of the time.

5. Don’t be afraid to put your photo up, there is someone for everyone! And that means you! I rarely marry the divinely beautiful, mostly the plain average. As the divinely beautiful are often to busy playing the field.

6. Be as real as you can when writing your profile. Less real contacts is better than hundreds of let downs.

7. Most important be realistic! The reality is Brad Pitt never dates ugly Betty. It’s just the way it is! Don’t get caught up the outer body, everybody in the end, ends up the same, old and wrinkled, just some with more botox than others.

8. Be clear about what you want in a partner, write your list. Do you want children, more children, their children. This time before you fall in love read the chart. Of course nobody is perfect, but make sure there is more ticks than crosses.

9. Limit on line chat, don’t fall in love with a person you have never met! Danger! Danger! Arrange to meet for coffee not dinner. If coffee works out, great you have your first dinner date. There is nothing worse that sitting through a long dinner with nothing in common.

10. Always meet at the arranged place with your own car, and choose a busy venue in a busy location, it’s all about safety. Don’t drink to much, and keep your wits about you.

So get to it, go have some fun!!

ONLINE DATING THE SEARCH

As I began the search for mister right, I met the needy, wounded, shy, slezy and overbearing. Each time I tried to truly see, the person before me. I banned romantic head stories from my mind, so I could focus. At the end of the date, I would shake their hand and look honestly into their eyes and thank them for their time, if there was nothing there I would say so. I wished them luck in their search for love and said good bye. There’s no point in exchanging numbers. After all I did not know how long this would take and I was only in the first few weeks as a new comer to online dating.

TOXIC DIVORCE RUINS CHILDREN

The effects of divorce never end, particularly when there are children involved. Deal with your stuff now! Notice the vice your using to cope, heavy drinking, drugs and causal sex. If your not careful they become addictions fast. If this is you get help now!


Today’s wedding. Both parents of bride and groom divorced and repartnered. Father of the groom drunk before the ceremony started, would not take his seat. Mother of the bride cracked it about where she was sitting. Even though my couple had spent hours devising a seating plan. The feeling in the room was terrible, a divided family mostly not speaking to each other. I ended up yelling at the mother of the bride that this was not her wedding day it was her daughter’s so have some respect! She quietly took her seat after that.

I hid everything from my couple and they did have a wonderful ceremony. I left knowing I could blog log to calm my rage. My ex also ruined my life but I will never let my divorce ruin my daughter’s life’s he has taken enough. Rise above everything and allow your children the freedom to live their lives unburdened by yours.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : ONLINE DATING PART 2 CONTINUES

I booked nine dates the next week, four on the same day. Coffee only, with the leaving excuse I needed to get back to work. As I walked the streets of Melbourne from date to date, I felt alive, in control and most importantly happy. It had been 13 years since I had dated, and who really dates in their late teens anyway, you just meet and that’s that. I married as a young woman and now here I was, dating, middle aged, divorced with two. This had to be difficult. In truth I did not even know how to date. So my first step became learning the art of dating.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : DATING ONLINE PART 2

I had hit it off with date number five. He had gone to the bar to order our drinks. We had been texting and talking on line for a few weeks. It just seemed too good to be true. He had left his wallet on the table, I picked it up. I don’t why but I opened it. There inside, a wedding band and licence. I read the name, it was a different name to this man, that seemed perfect in every way.

Being me, I took out the ring and the licence, placed them on the table, when number five came back, he looked down at the table picked up his things and left.

I ordered a double Scotch and realised the world I had entered. I had the courage to leave my husband. Number 5 was living a life of deceit. I had come close to entering unknowingly into this world. I realised I had to get savvy fast. My instincts protected me that night, but I needed to learn more. I had to make sure, that what ever I did, it was going to be real. So I began dating with the idea of  understand peoples worlds. In a way it was like a people study.

I needed to find out where I fitted in.
What kind of relationship did I really want? ….

TITLE :  Finding Centre By Lea Rose

REMARRIAGE : ITS THEIR WEDDING DAY

Some may think internet dating is a little strange yet let me tell you it’s the perfect place to find your perfect match even when you’re only looking for like minded friends. As friendship is the basis for real love to find it self. Brad had had given up on love, yet love had not given up on him. With his on line name 'Just Me' he found 'Sun Shine'. Brad divorced with two boys, 'Sun Shine' 8 months pregnant, alone.

The two met as friends, a little understand and friendship. Love healed their hearts and now three years later, this weekend I marry them. 'Just Me' father to the little one, 'Sun Shine' mum and now step mum. A family embraced with real love and support for each other and the children in their care. Their home warm and open, their children happy. I feel honoured to marry them. Never give up on hope because it never gives up on you.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : DATING ONLINE PART 1

Lets face it! whether you were the leaver, or the one being left, There is self work to do! No body comes out of divorce completely unscathed. So before dating again face yourself, and then take a good look at where you stand right now. Ask your self where do you want to be in the future, and have the courage to walk forward.

For my self I did it all wrong, it was the path I needed to take, so don’t judge yourself, it’s a damn hard journey, and once your through you can face anything. So before you date do the self work, give yourself time to heal. Then venture out with the knowing you deserve a second life, better than you could ever imagine.                                   

                                           TITLE : Moving on By Lea Rose

LIFE AFTER DIVORCE DATING ON LINE, START NOW!!!

A third of my clients have met on line, over the next week I will blog on all one needs to know about dating on line. Coming from me an ex on line dater, remarriage celebrant, counsellor. Get ready because here you come!

REMARRIAGE THE COURAGE TO LIVE AGAIN AFTER DIVORCE

The courage to begin again!

In my deepest pain, revenge became my driving force.
I was determined to rebuild my life. Revenge in homage to my ex husband for destroying a 10 year marriage. Now looking back this revenge become my greatest alia. It was what saved me from drowning in the sea of despair. In truth what I would discover was a freedom of self, and a life I could never of dreamed of. My courage led me to the greatest joy of all, the ability to live, like I never had lived, the ability, to face loneliness, terrible loneliness. The ability to stare grief in the face, and most of all to love like never before.

DIVORCE COUNSELLING : THAT WOMAN THAT JUDGED!!!

Dear Divorcettes.

Just as I was thinking how had it is to start again, new friends, new town, new home, new schools.
When the phone rang. I was given the delightful news that my daughters old teacher was sick and had been replaced. Replaced by that woman! The one that judged the most! The one that changed sides of the road!The one that stopped visiting for fear I would steal her husband! The one the stopped bringing her children around to play with mine for fear her family would catch the Divorce disease!!

As I've moved on from huge reactions, I can't use words but I can use #!!!!!!!!!!!*************!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!####
Today I had total peace that my move out of that town, was for me perfect!
My new life is here. It feels amazing!!!!!!!!

LIFE AFTER DIVORCE : COMPASSION OF A NEW FRIEND

I made a new friend today I told her I got married in June and showed her a photo of my new Blended family. She smiled lovingly and said your still on your honeymoon then! I smiled and said, "yes it's amazing to be on a honeymoon at 40 with two kids". The truth is, it does feel amzing!!!

BRAZILIAN HAIRLESS BODY!!

Where has all the hair gone! 10 years ago I married hair, leg hair, arm hair, back hair, definitely pubic, including ball hair. It seems divorce brought a new frontier. The hairless body! I'm so desperate to see hair even the hairy Greek guys seem sexy now. While I was going through my post divorce speed online dating fase, I felt exhausted explaining I was a woman not a child. Last week I had become so passionate about the subject I was threatening the universe if it did not bring back the hair, I would place my post-baby body nude on Sydney's Manly beach, the hairless capital of the world and declare it national hair day!

TITLE : THE AGE OF HAIR by Lea Rose

DIVORCE FREEDOM OF THE SELF

I’m thinking of you beautiful women, and beautiful men with the courage to stand alone because freedom and the ability to breath life have become more important than holding it all together, than being the perfect wife, being the perfect husband and having the perfect family to the outside world.

Your courage gives me strength, your loneliness holds me in my darkest hour, and your commitment to truth helps me to keep going. Thank you for your courage and making it possible to follow the path to freedom of the self.

My name is Lea Rose, married for ten years, divorced for four and remarried for one. This is my story, my tale to you dear friend. As Counsellor, Civil Celebrant and mother of two that now live in a blended family. I offer these pages to you, I offer these pages to myself as together we travel the dark and rocky path to truth. It was you that kept me alive in my darkest hours. Alone with my children, alone with my thoughts, alone with my pain. I thought of you sole parents and wondered how you are coping, how are your children, do you feel like me, what are your secrets. So this is my story, my tale to you…from marriage divorce to marriage.

My friends would say I've upgraded, younger husband, nicer town and a better house. Yes that's true...but it was the pain and anger that drove me forward towards a new life. And in truth, the grief still battles with my mind, as I find my new footing. I look at the inner compus, nothing is recognisable. I have made it, that I know, and now in this haven, I lick my wounds and reflect.

TITLE: THE WINTER By Lea Rose

MY NEW HUSBAND LIFE AFTER DIVORCE

While collecting my daughter from the Australian Ballet Summer school, one of the mothers who had not even made eye contact with me after a week, announced loudly in a lift packed full of people:


"I met your lovely husband today". My response loudly.... " Which one!".... and paused with a smile. I then added, "well there is the ex and the new one". Everyone broke into laughter. Well that was until the lift doors opened and there waiting, the two lone men. My two Husbands! The people filed out in silence, I whispered to the lady, "you met my ex". Sometimes it's wonderful to make fun of the difficulties of being a blended family. It just lightens the load.

TOXIC DIVORCE CAUSES DISEASE

So how does one heal from divorce, time.....time ....and more time.. Courage and the want to live life not to suffer it any longer. Currently five years after my divorce I'm on Chinese herbs, to cleanse my over worked, stressed, worn out body. My Chinese doctor, after looking me over, just repeated, divorce verrrrry bad for body, verrrry bad, verrry bad, much healing needed. Your in a bad way Lea. Kidney bad, liver so bad.
18 herbs later, and days of shiting out all the toxins, I realised eventhough I have moved on, my body is a war zone, of struggle, anger, and pain. Divorce can destroy the body, and create disease. Today I embrace feelig sick as a path back to total health.

LIFE AFTER DIVORCE : DYING EGG COUNT

My new doctor explained to me as I was turning 40, having a third baby at my age might be difficult.
Then adding would I try IVF if I was not successful. Unfortunalty I was unable to share with him, that I thought my, young, fertile, hot blooded, new husband would indeed make up for my dying egg count.
Instead I smiled, and shook his hand and left.